Many of us want to receive more love. We want a partner to love us more to accept us for who we are. Others can only love us to the degree that we are willing to accept. Relationships come into our lives to help show us where we are at. We can see ourselves in others. We can see the love we have within ourselves and we can see the things within them that we want to shift within ourselves.
When you want someone or something, try not to resist, even if it feels overwhelming or obsessive. It is showing you the degree of your wanting. Here’s the kicker though, when you see what you are so desperately wanting from them, you need ask yourself and listen to how you can provide yourself with those needs. This is how we stand in our power. We are not meant to be dependent on someone else for our happiness.
In my relationships I was depending on my partner, my friend, my mother to make me feel lovable. If they couldn’t give me that love, I felt cheated, deprived, or neglected. Their love for me or lack there-of, was no reflection of how lovable I am. Their ability to show me love is dependent on their own ability to love themselves.
There is a whole world of people angry at their mothers or fathers or spouses or friends because they didn’t give them enough love. But, understand and accept that they gave you what they had within themselves. They couldn’t possibly give you more. A psychic once said to me, your ex-husband loved you with everything he had. I said how could he have loved me and then lied, stolen, and abused me in all the ways that he did? She said he loved you with everything he had, but he only had five bucks.
The more we strengthen our ability to love ourselves, the more we strengthen our ability to love others. A therapist once suggested to me that I try looking in the mirror and saying, “I love you Kelly.” I couldn’t do it. At first all I could see were all the things I was disappointed in myself. All I was able to see were my own flaws. However something shifted for me once I truly heard the little girl inside me that was hurting, because she didn’t feel accepted. She was tired of constantly having to prove herself. She just wanted to be loved and accepted for who she is. I promised her I would do that. I knew how loving and beautiful she was inside. She deserved to be treated better. I needed to step up and show her that I loved her. I needed to figure out how to love me.