What are your passion detractors?
Give each one a rating with “0” being not a detractor at all and 5 being a huge detractor.
[___] Fear of being disappointed so you play safe.
[___] Saying yes to people, when you really want to say no. (people pleasing)
[___] Making other people’s happiness a priority over your own. (self-sacrifice)
[___] Living according to someone else’s expectations or rules rather than your own.
[___] You feel burnt out and numb and you no longer know what lights you up.
[___] Doing things you dread or hate.
[___] Perfectionism
[___] Comparing yourself to others
[___] Afraid of making a mistake
[___] Afraid of being judged for doing what you love
[___] Not making yourself a priority and taking time for you.
[___] Other _________________________________________________________
It can be a little sobering to see just how many habits are keeping you from living a passionate life. The good news is that the first step to transformation is awareness. Once you start shifting these passion detractors, your life naturally starts lighting up!
I’d love to help you start shifting your passion detractors and rediscover your passion.
Schedule your complimentary life coaching session today at: (603) 770-5607 or Kelly @ winall.us.
What Does it Mean to Live Passionately?
To me, passion is intense desire and a strong belief. It is so powerful it can feel as if it takes over my entire being. When I am feeling passionate about something it feels like the wind is at my back propelling me forward. I feel inspired. It is more difficult to contain it, than it is to simply express it. When I am in my passion is it burning hot and nothing can stand in my way.
I believe when we are in alignment with our soul-purpose, our highest calling, our deepest yearning, we are living passionately.
This feeling may sound awesome however it wasn’t until recently that I fully allowed passion to flow through my life. Because of its overwhelming powerful nature, I have often tried to control it or contain it. Why would I want to contain this powerful feeling? In the past it made me feel out of control. Sometimes it scared me to want something so much and not know if it I could have it. A long time ago, I leaned to not wish, or want or dream big, for fear of disappointment. If I didn’t allow myself to want it, I couldn’t be hurt by not getting it. It was a built in protection program designed to keep me safe. Yes, it kept me safe, safe from disappointment, but ultimately it left me feeling unfulfilled and disconnected from my deepest desires and my true purpose. I was lost.
I know I am not alone. Many of us learned to shut down and control our desires out of fear. As children many of our parents taught us this skill, because they were afraid for us. They wanted to protect us from disappointment. For some, we dreamed big and lost big so we learned dreaming big is just too painful. We shut down our passions, desires, and dreams. We began numbing ourselves from the pain. We learned to play it safe. We stop taking risks. We learned to hold back.
Well I am here to tell you, there is nothing more disappointing than never knowing what might have happened if you’d just had the courage to go all in.
How many of us have the courage to take the risk and go all in?
As a former athlete, I know, when you go full in, even if you lose, there is satisfaction in knowing you gave it everything you had. You did your best. How many of us can say we do this in all aspects of our life? How many of us have the courage to take the risk and go all in? Have you ever watched sports teams playing in which one team was clearly better than the other team, yet the lesser talented team never gave up? In that game there are no losers, there are players that may be more talented or just played better that day, but there are no losers. True athletes know it’s about how you play the game. When you are in the game, nothing else exists. All you have is that moment. It’s a great analogy as to how to live your best life. It’s not about winning and losing, it’s about being fully present in each and every moment and giving it everything you’ve got. This is living from your heart. This is living courageously. This is living passionately.
Passion is about being fully present in each and every moment and giving it everything you’ve got.
If this isn’t how you play in the game of life, you may be feeling lost, unsatisfied, and unfulfilled.
For many of us, we’ve become so far removed from what makes us feel joyful, purposeful, and inspired, that we don’t know how to find our way back. This is how I felt. I was so disconnected from joy, that I didn’t even know what joy was anymore, let along how to get it back. When I was going through my divorce, I kept getting the messages such as, your life is your own, celebrate your freedom, celebrate your independence, and do what makes you happy. This advice sounded simple, but honestly, I didn’t know where to begin. I had no idea what made me happy. My whole life was about making those I loved happy. I thought this was the noble thing to do… if I made everyone else happy, then I would be happy. My needs were little. I neglected, ignored, and shut down my own needs. My own happiness was never a priority to me. I was disconnected from myself and my own happiness.
The way I found my way back to joy was that I began identifying and letting go of everything that took me away from my joy. I have coined the term “passion detractors” to identify people, places, things and feelings that suck the life out of us and steer us away from happiness. I began asking myself, what makes me feel bad? What don’t I enjoy doing? What am I doing out of obligation? What relationships leave me feeling drained? By identifying these things, letting them go, or learning how to better manage how they affected me, I slowly began making room for more joy. I started giving myself permission to be happy.
And yet even after giving myself permission to be happy, joy still eluded me. It seemed like happiness was something other people had. I would watch what happy people were doing and think, I need to do more fun things. I planned more fun things in my life. My happiness improved a bit, but it still felt like an effort. It turns out, I had it all wrong. I was looking in the wrong place.
Happiness and joy were things I had been searching for. How many of us have felt that once we find that relationship, own that home, buy that car, earn that salary, then we will be happy. These things are all outside us. Happiness comes from within. You can’t go find joy. Joy is what you bring to each activity in your life.
Happiness and joy is our natural state of being. Look at babies, kittens and puppies, they are just happy. Early on, many of us learn to suppress our happiness. We are taught we need to grow up and be responsible. Think about how that word feels. It feels so heavy. We are taught, rules, regulations, and obligation. These are all adult terms. Yes, they bring order, but they are not fun.
How do we end up so far from our natural state? Society, culture, schools, and business and even parents often teach us to think not feel. Finding your joy can really be as easy feeling into your body and asking yourself, do I want to do this? Will I enjoy doing this? If it feels like something you want to do, something you would enjoy doing, then say,” Yes.” If it feels like duty, obligation, responsibility or self-sacrifice, than create space for your passions and your happiness and say, “Hell no!”
Although I ignored and neglected my passions for years, luckily they never disappeared. They were just deeply buried. I have let go of many of the things that pulled me from my passion and my joy. I am tuning in to who I am, how I feel, what I love, and what inspires me. Now, I am experiencing passion in a way I could never have imagined. Now when the intensity of passion begins to burn, I allow myself to surrender into it. I am learning how to let my passion inspire and guide me. It is exhilarating to let go of the wheel and see where it takes me. I believe in order for us to find our way towards our most powerful life, we need to learn how to tune back into our passions, our built in turbo boost towards our inner truth and essence. For me, I want to embrace my passions and bring this power and zeal into every aspect of my life.
Are you ready to start shifting your passion detractors?
Are you ready to go all in and reclaim your passion for life?
Schedule your complimentary life coaching session today at:
(603) 770-5607
Kelly @ winall.us.
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