Your Dog Knows More Than its Nose
By Kelly Lyn Marquis, PHA, RHP
Dogs just seem to “get us”. Being in their presence can feel so good. We feel loved, accepted, understood. Yes, dogs get us more than we know. It can feel so comforting when no matter what emotion we are feeling our dogs willingly sit by our sides or in our laps just being with us. Our dog doesn’t try to change us or tell us we shouldn’t feel that way. Our dogs just sit patiently by our sides accepting us wherever we are at and just seem to say, “I am here for you no matter what. I don’t care who you are or what you’ve done, whether you’ve succeeded or failed, loved someone or let someone down. I love you no matter what.” A dog exemplifies unconditional love. They are unreserved givers of love and acceptance.
Dogs are Natural Empaths
Now more than ever, people are turning to their dogs for love and companionship. Dogs are natural empaths, meaning they can sense the emotional state or feelings of others. In addition, they are pack animals. A pack is a unit of individual dogs. Part of the pack mentality is each individual dog senses the feelings and needs of other dogs within the pack. Energetically this makes them a unified whole. There is a shared consciousness among them, an awareness of what is going on with each member. This is one of the reasons why packs work so well and efficiently together. This way of being aided them in their ability to survive in the wild. Most of us would acknowledge that one of the joys of dog ownership is that dogs sense our thoughts and feelings. Dogs bond with us and we with them by sharing and working together. There is a sense of teamwork. With a dog and a human, the two often become one.
There is something so beautiful about interacting and sharing yourself with another in silence. When there are no words to get in the way, we can just be one with what we are feeling. In the silent moments with our dogs we feel accepted. There is such peace in that.
dogs often reflect their human’s emotions
Several years ago, I showed a very unique dog that had a really interesting fun, and sweet personality. He was such a joy to be with. I was surprised to learn the dog was on Prozac. At the time, I had never heard of such a thing. Some part of me thought, “that doesn’t seem right.” It didn’t make sense to me that any dog would suffer from depression. I didn’t know what to think of it. Since then, I have come to learn it is not uncommon for dogs to be medicated with Prozac.
It’s been stewing in the back of my mind for quite some time now. I am not a veterinarian, so perhaps I am speaking on a subject I am not qualified to, but as someone who has lived with and trained dogs her whole life, it is my feeling that some of these dogs are “taking on” or “picking up on” or “sharing” the energy, thoughts, feelings and emotions of their owners. I’m not here to point fingers or make anyone feel bad or guilty. It is simply my intent to offer food for thought for owners. Maybe this new awareness will encourage dog owners to be more diligent, about working on themselves and resolving their personal issues and life challenges. Speaking from personal experience, there are lots of things I won’t do for myself, but if my dog or child or friend needs something, I make it a priority because their needs are important to me and I don’t want them to suffer. For others like me, this may be an impetus to more deeply work on your own issues, so your dog is not taking them on for you or with you.
When Marley took on my emotions
I’d like to share one such incidence in which I believe my dog took on my emotions. On May 30th 2016, I woke up knowing on that day I would be signing divorce papers. I was feeling very withdrawn. I am a stoic person by nature anyway. I hide my feelings and I often don’t want others to see or know what I am feeling. Even when I am by myself and no one is around to see me, I don’t show emotion. Emotion doesn’t feel good to me, so I control it and contain it. I’ve become so good at it, I’m often not even aware I am doing it. Furthermore, sometimes I push my feelings down so deeply, even I don’t know what I am feeling or I don’t like the way the emotions feel so I often get a handle on them early and shut them down. I’m working on undoing this pattern, but that’s fuel for another story.
The day I went to sign my divorce papers, I was feeling very subdued and contained. In fact, I think I was feeling a void of emotions. The best way to describe my state of being is that I felt numb. Although I wanted the divorce, it meant I was closing a large chapter of my life, a chapter that involved many ups and downs. On some level the signing of the papers made it more real. It was final.
When I left the house in the morning, I don’t think I ever said goodbye to my dog Marley. I wasn’t aware of much around me. I think Marley was lying on the couch in the sunroom when I left.
I drove in silence to the attorney’s office. I remember sitting in a room by myself with a large stack of papers. The world seemed to stop. It felt like time stood still. A large portion of my life was coming to completion. My life would never be the same. Sitting in that conference room at a large table, all by myself trying to process the finality of it all. Few words we spoken. I think before I left someone said, “I’m sorry.”
On the way home, I needed to stop for gas. While pumping my gas I felt like I was in a tunnel. It was as if a bomb had gone off. I didn’t see or feel anything. I was completely numb. I drove home in silence. I didn’t call or talk to anyone.
When I walked into my home, my dog Marley met me at the door in a complete state of panic. She was panting and spinning in circles franticly. I immediately snapped out of my trance and flew into action. Marley needed me. I had never witnessed Marley appearing panicked. This was totally out of character for her. At first, I thought she had an upset stomach, had an accident in the house or was about to have one so I immediately let her outside. Marley was a Doberman and most Dobermans are very clean. They never or rarely ever have accidents in the house and if they do, they often feel humiliated or ashamed. I was sniffing the air to detect if I smelled something fowl and began searching around the house to see if anything was out of place. Everything was in order. When I went to let her back inside the house, she was frantically at the door wanting to come in. I let her in and then just stood there looking at her trying to figure out what was wrong. This was so out of character. Marley was one of the most easy-going, laid back, gentle, sweet Dobermans I have ever owned. She wasn’t a worrier, she wasn’t fearful, she didn’t stress, she never fought with other dogs. Her nature was always easy going, go with the flow.
It looked to me like she was having a panic attack. I called the vet’s office and explained Marley’s behavior. They informed me that if she was still acting that way in the evening, I could bring her in to be examined at 8:00 pm! I was shocked by their laisse fair attitude! I have been a client of this veterinary practice for almost ten years. There is a level of mutual respect between myself and every member of the staff that I really appreciate. I couldn’t believe they were telling me I had to wait until 8:00 pm. It was 3:30 in the afternoon. I was not just disappointed; I was angry. I was having what felt like an emergency and there was no one to help me. I put my anger aside and focused on taking matters into my own hands. I took a deep breath and thought to myself, you need to solve this. You’ve got this. You know animals. You know what they need. You know what to do. Two thoughts came into my head, WINE, REIKI. I opened up a bottle of wine, poured ½ shot glass and poured it in Marley’s mouth. My hope was that it would help immediately take the edge off of her nervous state. Next, I planned to do Reiki on her.
After giving her the wine, I laid her down on her side, took several deep breaths, prayed, and began focusing on channeling as much loving, soothing, healing energy as I could through me and into Marley. Within 30 minutes we were both passed out on the chaise lounge together!
I believe that event with Marley transpired because of me. I believe Marley sensed what was going on within me even when I couldn’t acknowledge or understand my own feelings. I believe what occurred with Marley ended up being a blessing in disguise for me. I am not good at taking care of myself. I often ask too much of myself, and put unrealistic expectations on myself.
I probably expected myself to simply sign papers, be strong, and be okay. I think because I was pushing down my emotions and not allowing myself to feel them, Marley picked up on everything I wasn’t allowing myself to feel, and became overwhelmed. The reality for me is, if I myself had a panic-attack, I would have been angry at myself. Yet when Marley went into a panic attack I immediately attended to her needs. It didn’t matter how or why she was feeling the way she did… all that mattered was that she needed help and in helping her, I ended up helping myself. In the end, with the assistance of Marley, I experienced a normal reaction to a traumatic life event. Instead of remaining completely vacant, I experienced overwhelm, then compassion, nurture and rest.
Your dog is your mirror
I share my story to offer food for thought to other dog owners. Whatever you are feeling, your dog is most likely feeling it too. So whenever possible, let’s do out best to become aware and process our feelings and emotions as best we can. Many of us deny, do not compassionately address, and/or don’t make our own needs a priority. Yet many of us easily and without hesitation attend to the needs of others and/or our dogs. Marley helped me attend to my own needs, because when I saw she needed me, I attended to her, and in the end, helped myself. After that incident, I became more aware of the fact that my old pattern of pushing down my emotions because I don’t want to feel them or shaming myself because I am having a weak moment is unkind to me. Perhaps its time I extend myself the same kindness and compassion I freely give to my dogs, my child, and my friends and family.
Our dogs are mirrors to us. They are constantly mirroring back to us what we are feeling. If we allow ourselves to see it, our dogs have the ability to be some of our greatest teachers by teaching us about unconditional love and acceptance.
Published in Dog News Magazine, June 28, 2019, page 38
About Kelly Lyn Marquis
Kelly Lyn Marquis has been handling dogs professionally for more than 25 years. In 2002 she handled Ch. Blue Chip Purple Reign, #1 Doberman, #1 Working Dog, #5 All Breed. She is a member of the Professional Handlers’ Association, and the AKC Registered Handlers’ Program. She is a CTA Certified Life Coach and holds a Bachelor of Arts Degree from the University of New Hampshire. To comment on articles or to suggest future article ideas, please visit her website at https://winall.us.